Cite

«Boss! He says there's no Santa Claus! Santa's real, isn't he?!»

«Boss! He says Santa Claus is real! There’s no such thing as Santa, is there?!»

«Ohh... my stomach...»

«I coulda sworn I saw a guy who looked just like me... Hm. Must have been a coincidence».

«Boss, if you find me lying face down on the battlefield you gotta revive me! Uh, but no mouth-to-mouth, please!»

«I got buddy named Johnny. You know him?»

«Why do it toda-a-ay? There's always tomorro-o-ow...»

«Did you hear? Somebody said they saw «God» inside a truck somewhere...»

Victor Vance: You're not gonna do anything stupid are you man?

Phil: We're breaking into a military base, and I'm drunk. What could be more stupid?

Goon: Hey boss, have you seen Lance?

Victor Vance: Unfortunately yes.

Lance Vance: I'm sorry, Ricardo baby, but sometimes brothers get alpha male on you, y'know.

Ricardo Diaz: I know... that's why I killed mine.

Reni: Ooh, all that shooting. I'm so turned on Dr. Horowitz is going to need a chainsaw to cut through this wood.

Victor Vance: Man, I do not want to know.

Victor Vance: Keep your head down.

Reni: In your lap darling?

Reni: This gun makes me feel so masculine. Make love to me Vic!

Victor Vance: Let's just get to the hospital.

Reni: Then you will make love to me, no?

Victor Vance: No.

Victor Vance: How did you know he'd be there?

Lance Vance: All the out-of-towners go there to get high and get laid... I did.

Lance Vance: Man I'm good. I scare myself sometimes.

Victor Vance: Do you think we can trust Diaz?

Lance Vance: My man Diaz is a businessman...

Victor Vance: Great: That's a «no» then.

Victor Vance: Lance!

Lance Vance: Oh, no.

Victor Vance: Lance, get over here and explain yourself.

Lance Vance: Sssh!

Victor Vance: Stop acting like a child.

Lance Vance: Sssh!

Victor Vance: Don't you shush me.

Lance Vance: Keep your voice down...

Victor Vance: No. You can barely tie your own shoelaces, and you're telling me how to behave?

Lance Vance: WILL YOU SHUT UP, YOU STUPID GORILLA?! THE PLACE IS BUGGED! THE DEA IS ONTO US! HAPPY NOW?

Armando Mendez: Some crooks have shown their contempt for us by using our home as an entryway for drugs into this fine nation.

Victor Vance: Like you?

Armando Mendez: Exactly! Plagiarism! It is an insult! I hope you're wise enough to see that if you let a man insult you, before long he will try to kill you. You must kill these degenerates. You'll find them near Ocean Beach.

Armando Mendez: Ah, my brother. What a conversationalist. Only today we were discussing philosophy. He is a great fan of Plato, but I have always been more Aristotelian. I think perhaps that is why he is so happy, and I am so weighed down by worry. What do you think?

Victor Vance: Me? Shit. The world is full of suffering, then you die.

Lance Vance: Man, Forbes screwed us again. Let's get back and screw HIM... metaphorically speaking.

Umberto Robina: The art of leadership, my friend, is making people believe they had the idea all along.

Will: A note written by Mom.

Will: Rules of the House

Will: 1: Don't take up the bathroom.

Will: 2: Shoo off door-to-door salesmen.

Will: 3: Men hold the bags on market sale days!

Will: 4: No expensive drinks!

Will: 5: One bottle of alcohol a week!

Will: 6: Decline offers to join the Church of Sphene!

Will: 7: Don't go off with strange women.

Will: 8: You know, don't you, honey?

Will: Yikes... That last one's directed at Dad.

«No reading in the bathroom! - Mom»

Will: My brother Bel's always bringing books in and staying in there forever...

Will: I kept these dolls I got from a school friend 'cause I felt bad about throwing them out.

Will: A present I got from a friend at school. I'm glad for it and all, but I only ever get gifts from guys... And a worrying number of guys, at that.

Will: This was from a guy friend at school, too... sigh... I want attention from girls, not guys...