11.10.2025 05:08:09 PM (GMT)

Announcer: Come by Ammu-Nation to register to win an anti-aircraft gun, actually used when we whooped Australia's ass!

11.10.2025 05:08:07 PM (GMT)

Mr. Zoo: Get lost doc. I got out of confines. Me and me friends are travelling around in a black van, solving crimes and running from the Colonel.

11.10.2025 05:08:05 PM (GMT)

Maurice Chavez: Enough! We're running out of time and you completely failed to answer the question.

Alex Shrub: I'm a professional. That's my job.

11.10.2025 05:08:03 PM (GMT)

Tommy Vercetti: Never forget the Second Amendment, asshole!

11.10.2025 05:08:01 PM (GMT)

Ken Rosenberg: Tommy Vercetti doesn't even own a gun!

11.10.2025 05:07:59 PM (GMT)

Phil Cassidy: No not the hospital, man! Too many cops and Viet Congs. There's an ex-army surgeon, owes me a few favors and a lawnmower. He's got a place down Little Havana. Oh look, a giant fish.

11.10.2025 05:07:57 PM (GMT)

Ken Rosenberg: You wouldn't know the truth if you found it banging your wife. Now shut up and release my client. And your wife's not that great.

11.10.2025 05:07:55 PM (GMT)

Tommy Vercetti (after killing a pedestrian): You can blame my mother. I do.

11.10.2025 05:07:53 PM (GMT)

Pastor Richards: You see, the Alaskans are lunatics, plain and simple. They eat whales, and snow, and they sleep in the freezer. Who wants to eat snow everyday? Oh, I tried to help. I sent a helicopter with copies of my book, but they burned them in a pile for heat. If the people of Alaska choose to live where they are, let them, but don't come crying when you're tired of eating penguin and it snows 18 feet a day.

9.10.2025 07:40:53 PM (GMT)

Fernando Martinez: Stay with me. Stay with Fernando. Por favor. Mi amor. Siolito. It's like Fernando said to his ex-wife: «I love you, please, don't leave me. It is not what you think. I was bitten by a snake, and the nice lady, she came to suck out the poison». The story, she no work very well.

9.10.2025 07:40:51 PM (GMT)

Ken Rosenberg: Of course my client looks guilty. Just because he looks guilty doesn't mean he is. You look like an idiot, but that doesn't mean you are.

9.10.2025 07:40:49 PM (GMT)

Konstantinos Smith: I wish someone would kill me; that way I could hang out in the cemetery ALL the time, instead of just on weekends.

9.10.2025 07:40:47 PM (GMT)

Lazlow: Here's some more non-stop «help me, I'm unemployed» rock.

9.10.2025 07:40:45 PM (GMT)

Tommy Vercetti: There goes my careful planning, all blown to hell. Thanks to you. You screwed up real good, Lance.

Lance Vance: He killed my brother. What did you expect me to do? Mow his lawns?

9.10.2025 07:40:43 PM (GMT)

Narrator: A deadly curse. A deranged killer. A small town in tears. «Knife After Dark». Rated «R», for «Retarded».

9.10.2025 07:40:41 PM (GMT)

Ken Rosenberg: Do I look like I can intimidate a jury? I couldn't intimidate a child, and believe me, I've tried.

9.10.2025 07:40:39 PM (GMT)

Ken Rosenberg: I poke my head out of the gutter for one freakin' second, and fate shovels shit in my face.

9.10.2025 07:40:37 PM (GMT)

Ken Rosenberg: Tommy, I have a disagreement, I mail them an angry letter, maybe pee in their mailbox. I DON'T start World War III.

9.10.2025 07:40:35 PM (GMT)

Lazlow: That's what you get when you listen to this station: rock 'n roll and me. I'm not sure which I prefer.

9.10.2025 03:05:34 AM (GMT)

Mitch Baker: I thought this was supposed to be a rock station, but all I'm hearing is girl's music.

9.10.2025 03:05:32 AM (GMT)

Tommy Vercetti: Look, haven't you seen a movie? We get into bank, wave the guns – and leave very rich men.

9.10.2025 03:05:30 AM (GMT)

Tommy Vercetti: The last thing I needed was this. Maybe the last thing I needed was an enema, but this comes close.

9.10.2025 03:05:28 AM (GMT)

Ken Rosenberg: Hey Tommy, I got you that chalkboard you wanted.

Tommy Vercetti: Ah, the benefits of a law school education: the ability to follow instructions.

9.10.2025 03:05:26 AM (GMT)

Congressman Alex Shrub: Those statistics are interesting, but like all statistics, they are also irrelevant.

9.10.2025 03:05:24 AM (GMT)

Narrator: «Evacuator Part 2». Rated «PG». May include patriotic garbage.